don’t get all judgey-judgey when you read this. our cats are definitely OUT of the wall.

We just had houseguests and once again had to put them on the couch because the guest room/office is still full of stuff. Now, I know it takes some time to work through the boxes after you move to a new place and go through all the extra stuff that doesn’t fit because apparently your house is smaller than your apartment, even though there is more square footage, because you didn’t realize the stairs count as square footage. Also, maybe the ceiling, I’m not sure. We had to get rid of furniture. I don’t get how that even happened.

But anyway, we have too much stuff, and we are having a hard time getting though it. Again, we just moved. Well, 3 years ago.

When I say it like that, all “3 years ago”, it sounds bad. That’s really a small percentage of your total lifetime, so…ok, it’s bad, isn’t it. We shouldn’t still be unpacking?

I think we might be hoarders.

I mean, we’re clean hoarders, if so; our kitchen and bathrooms are very clean! And we dust! Not often! But sometimes! And Other Half has a Dyson vacuum, which he loves deeply and uses all the time, really. Plus, it’s pretty much limited to the guest bedroom, which is the Repository of All Things We Don’t Know What to Do With Right Now. So it’s not like an actual episode of Hoarders, with rotting food on the floor and cats in the walls. It’s just…stuff. Boxes of papers I meant to go through before I moved, and didn’t, because seriously, who wants to spend their weekend going through boxes of old papers? His old guitar. And amp. Too many books that I’m definitely never going to read. Magazines I’m definitely going to read one of these days.  Pictures I’m definitely going to make into a scrapbook eventually! Won’t that be great? Won’t you be excited to come over and look through my scrapbook? I *might* have too many shoes. Other Half *probably* has too many band t-shirts. And we don’t even know what’s in those baskets on the top shelf. Why do we have those baskets again?

I kinda like that show, Hoarders, and not in a superiority-complex-kind-of-way like most people. (Admit it. You judge.) Other Half freaks out when he walks into the room and finds it on TV; I think he sees an episode and thinks, “Oh God, that’s my future, and I don’t want to think about it.”

I like it because it’s helpful. I watch an episode and think, “Oh God, that’s my future, and I need to throw some &*^% away.” Which I do. Every time I see it I clean out something. That’s a true story. I think I probably need to just get a Hoarders marathon on dvd, and watch in the guest room, and pitch things while I’m doing it.

Wow, that’s actually a great idea. Did I just talk myself into a plan? Look, Mom! Reality TV IS educational!


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